Must Live Life

No brainer, right?  That was my epiphany on my drive into work this morning.  I haven’t been.  My job has been my life.  So when your job goes to the crapper – your whole life goes to the crapper.

It has been awhile since I have written, have you missed me?  😊

Last time I wrote I had just moved to Michigan.  I did get a job and have actually moved from that job to another job.  Both crappy and when I think about it – I have had a string of crappy jobs and that is because my life revolves around my professional life.  Makes sense, doesn’t it?  It is funny how you can shut down what is right in front of your face.  The light went on this morning so change is on the horizon linked to my “personal” life rather than my “professional” life.

I have been a widow for almost 4-years.  I have found that I like living on my own.  I do have Rocky as a companion but he is a dog.  A year ago, I bought a house, gutted it and was consumed with the renovation.  Great distraction!  I really enjoy the work – the physical, no thinking part of it.  Part of my problem.  Once I start thinking, that is when I get depressed.  Don’t get me wrong, I realize many have it worse off and I am being a whiney baby.  Life has already been quite the journey for me – maybe I crave the chaos?    That would be crazy!

So many self-help books focus on we are all special and have a special journey.  The tough part is finding that special journey for many of us.  My thoughts, what if I am not special and I never find a special life journey.  Is this all there is?  I work and then go home to read and watch TV – whoa really special!  Been doing that for two years now.   

To add other elements – some unknown (volunteering with United Way (hospice)), some known (art studio is under construction) -   should shake things up. 

Give me your input.  Wondering if other’s have similar inner turmoil’s?  If so, what are you doing to fix it?

Take care and "Trying" to keep it R.E.A.L!